Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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