do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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