There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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