yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
