is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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