i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
