remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
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Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
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Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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