i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
porn star boner night. come get it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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