3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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