we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
