imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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