That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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