This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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