Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
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When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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