i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm passing your future prison.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
