And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
