She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
