careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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