She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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