Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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