know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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