This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
