Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he fucked my hip out of place.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
