The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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