Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
