I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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