were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
