Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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