i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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