physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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