One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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