She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
These tits shall not be calmed
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
