Your face is a jimmy john
so that wasnt chicken after all
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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