Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
