Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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