We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on