you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear