had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
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Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
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sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"