lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?