Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Dating After Heartbreak
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."