Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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