Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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