To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
