i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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