Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
