It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
