As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
