i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
