Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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