Banned from zoo.
Again?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
