i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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