We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
