$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
FUCK WHALES
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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