dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
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Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize