hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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