I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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