I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
