a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
