so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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