the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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