I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
