GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
