Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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