This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
