I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
