Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
