And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
