Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
