I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
